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Who Are The Best Fans?

Written by Duncan under Ceiling Fans, General | No Comments ""

The World Cup.  We promised not to touch it, but we just can’t avoid it, especially given the run of frankly baffling first round group stage results.  France apparently being morphed into a Pub Team.  Switzerland beating Spain – what’s that about? Ten-man Germany slipping to defeat after missing a World Cup penalty for the first time in 28 years – has the world gone mad?  The issue of who is the best team will be resolved over the coming weeks.  We thought we’d look at the fans and ask searching  boot room questions like “if the word Vuvuzela is derived from Latin, should its plural be Vuvuzelae?”

South Africa Fans

Colourful, lively and full of hope and enthusiasm (despite most of the stadia now being stewarded by the Police) but regrettably soon to transfer their allegiances to other teams.  They cannot be forgiven though for the introduction of the sonic weapon called the Vuvuzela, which is an aural experience similar to watching the director’s cut of “The Attack of the Killer Bees” in magnificent Stereo Surround-O-Rama.  Frankly, whilst we respect African traditions, the Vuvuzela plain sucks and the thought of it appearing at Old Trafford or any other premier league ground next season is just scary.

Brazil Fans

Obvious why these fans are so popular really.  It’s all got to do with the magnificent Latin beats of the samba drums, the joyous demeanour of very seldom knowing defeat on the field, qualification achieved already,  the delight in the beautiful game,  the skimpy tops, the blonde hair….

Holland Fans

Ordinarily the Oranje’s international following are amongst the most colourful, best behaved and most demanding in the world having being spoilt by “Total Football” over the years.   They seem to have made it to the final stages again, but   on a domestic level though they do have a reputation for getting a bit steamed up.  Perhaps a dehumidifier might help?

Scotland Fans

Although they didn’t quite make the cut for South Africa, the Tartan Army has a reputation for good humoured banter with the natives where ever they are.  Drink is certainly involved in following Scotland, however the fans are generally not noted for causing too many problems.  Many authorities ascribe this perception of good behaviour to the fact that, in major tournaments, Scotland is never there long enough (i.e. beyond the initial qualifying stages) for the fans to have enough time to really kick off.

England Fans

At the time of writing, England doesn’t know what to expect….  Let’s face it, it was hardly a day of World Cup drama on the pitch and off the field the only highlights seemed to be Rooney apologizing for his outburst and England fan Pavlos Joseph being charged with trespass after his dressing room moan at the team.  Mr Joseph, from Crystal Palace, said a security guard sent him in the direction of some toilets nearby and after taking a wrong turn he found himself in the changing room.  His impromptu team talk happened only minutes after Princes William and Harry left the dressing room.  Despite John Terry’s interview, it looks like senior players may be turning on manager Fabio Capello as the pressure mounts.  We’ll find out more this coming Wednesday against Slovenia no doubt, but in a raft of weird results it would be a brave pundit indeed who would confidently predict the outcome.

Ceiling Fans

To the best of our knowledge these must be the best fans in the world.  They’ve never caused any problems inside a stadium or in its immediate vicinity and none have ever been banned from travelling abroad.   They consistently add to the comfort and décor of any room, supply effective lighting, often display traits like varying speeds for maximum cooling and are very quiet.  They are gainfully employed all year round cooling in Summer and pushing warm air down from the ceiling in Winter.  Their understanding of the off side rule is however, very limited.


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